Before I start: whoa, aren’t you setting feminism back a wave or two with this article?
Actually, no, I’m making it intersect with disability. You should try it sometime.
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People keep overestimating my personality, like, whoa, you charmed him over all of that club music?
Friend, I barely even spoke to him. I gave up after he asked me to repeat my name for the eighth time. My hips were particularly stiff that night but I danced anyway, and he sidled up beside me to mirror my awkward moves with the same level of enthusiasm. I burst out laughing at the pretend-focused face he was making, and kept smiling as we grinded the night away.
People keep overestimating my personality, like, whoa, they must’ve really fallen for your cute aura.
That cute aura is brought to you by my waddle, the tiny protruding vertebra between my shoulderblades, the startle reflex that sends me three feet in the air, and the way my legs twitch when I’m laughing, excited, or aroused.
People keep overestimating my personality, like, whoa, I guess you found a way to distract her from her love for hiking.
Yeah, we took makeout breaks until the soreness in my legs dissipated and we could continue walking. Other hikers gawked and everything.
People keep overestimating my personality like, whoa, he’s usually into the athletic and flexible ones, you must’ve really had an impact on him.
I mean, we really connected on an emotional level over coffee on my couch, but that was after we put all the cushions back after using them as support for my knees while I fucked him on the living room floor.
People keep overestimating my personality, like, whoa, how’d you score someone as sex-obsessed as them?
Well they let me lean on their arm on the way home when I said I had a hard time walking long distances and then, once we got there, somehow we were spooning on the couch? I asked them if they could pop their leg between my knees to help keep my spine straight. I think that’s when I mentioned that orgasms do wonder to relax my hypertonic muscles. There wasn’t that much to it, really.
People keep overestimating my personality, like, whoa, she must be completely in love with your mind to spend that much time with you.
But it wasn’t my mind she was probing with her tongue last night, now was it.
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